Roses are orange…

The other day, The Fiance came home with a bouquet for me.  This is a big deal because it’s unusual for him to bring me flowers.  (He says when I stop asking for them, he’ll bring them.  I guess I’ve finally managed to stop asking.)  Although, there was one time when he brought me a rose bush.  I killed it in a startlingly short amount of time.

But anyway, last week The Fiance brought me home a bouquet.  It was exciting and special and they’re beautiful.  I was so surprised.  I snatched them up and started snipping off the stems and plopping them into a vase.17342655_10101644676586805_7690270902523424644_n

He comes sauntering over, so proud of himself, and says,

“These reminded me of your personality.”  Pointing at the orange roses, “Bright.”  Pointing at the purple thistles, “And dangerous.”

No such thing

I heard the TV click on while I was sitting at the table eating some breakfast and reading a book on Saturday morning.  I glance up to see what The Fiance has turned on to entertain himself this rainy day.  (It’s not like we have to clean the entire apartment top to bottom or anything…)  It’s the same thing from last night.

Me: Honey.  Do you ever feel like maybe there’s too much Walker Texas Ranger?

Him:  There’s no such thing as too much Walker Texas Ranger.

17-completely-insane-chuck-norris-gifs-to-celebrate-the-legends-birthday-image-17.gif

Well that was startling

This week we had a snow day on Tuesday.  A lovely opportunity to sleep in during the work week.  And let me tell you, I snatched up that opportunity like I’d never see it again.  And let’s face it.  It’s the middle of March.  I shouldn’t have seen it in the first place.  But I did.  So when my alarm went off, as it does every day, at 5:30, I silenced it and rolled back over for a few more hours of blissful sleep.

If only that’s what it was.

During the additional two hours of sleep I had, did I dream of sunshine and rainbows?  Did I envision fluffy white sheep hopping over cute little fences?  Did I have that recurring fantasy where I get to eat all the sweets I could ever possibly want and lose weight?

No.

I had a nightmare.

About wedding cake.

A nightmare about someone cutting the top tier of the wedding cake.  I woke up sweating, hands clammy, heart pounding, a shout lodged in my throat.

The only reason we’re getting wedding cake is because The Fiance is a traditionalist and wants to save the top tier for our first anniversary.  And in my dream someone had the audacity to cut the top tier.  How could we possibly save the top tier if it’s been cut?!?!  We’re spending hundreds of dollars on wedding cake simply to ensure that we save the top tier.  Hundreds of dollars.  So, you can see why it was a nightmare.

Who knew wedding cake could be so stress-inducing?  If only I’d just woken up at 5:30 when my alarm went off in the first place.

Drop-the-wedding-cake.gif
Dear God, please no.

Learning to adult part 182

I don’t care what people say.  Being boring and not having a social life is actually a good thing.  Staying home every night isn’t a problem.  Not going out to a bar isn’t bad.  Not going out anywhere isn’t bad.  In fact, it could be considered an excellent life choice.

It’s cost efficient.

giphy.gif

Pre Cana Classes with Father Awesome

So, The Fiance and I have been attending Pre Cana classes, since The Fiance is nice enough to agree to get married in the Catholic Church.  The priest who is preparing us, Father Awesome, is young (around our ages), has a super friendly dog, and is full of random trivia.  He gives great homilies so that even The Fiance doesn’t mind going to mass with me.

Personally, I’m really enjoying the Pre Cana preparation and would highly recommend marriage (or relationship) counseling to anyone.  And I have.  It’s like I’ve suddenly become an expert on recommending counseling.  Because meeting with a priest a handful of times makes me an expert.  (Sarcasm.)

The Fiance is really enjoying it for an entirely different reason, however.

When we met with the priest in January, we were having a very serious conversation about our parents.  Suddenly Fr. Awesome interrupts us, mid-sentence and says:

I’m sorry to interrupt you guys, but I just thought of a very important question.  Have you seen the new Star Wars movie yet?

For my single cousins

Guys, if I’d thought of this first, then this blog wouldn’t even exist.  But since I didn’t, I’m just going to pass this sage advice along to my own single cousins.

wizard.png

The List of Deviant Dater

Wedding hotel blocks are, at best, a hassle.  At worst, they become the bane of your every wedding planning existence.  I would say that we’re somewhere right in the middle, but we’re definitely starting to lean toward bane of my existence.

As you know, we’re having a big wedding.  Okay, a really big wedding.  And it’s out of town.  For everyone.  Including The Fiance and I.  So, most people are going to need hotel rooms.  Naturally, we had to get blocks at several hotels.

We ended up with blocks at three different hotels, ranging from 20 rooms to 40 rooms per hotel, and ranging in price to accommodate whatever our guests may need.  We’re getting married over a holiday weekend (Memorial Day), so we wanted to make these hotel blocks well in advance and secure the best rate we could get for our guests.  We signed contracts in August.

We sent out invitations last month.  Our website went live with all three hotels’ contact information.  And since then, all the people who have tried to book rooms at The Holiday Inn Express have called/texted/Facebook messaged me that the hotel has no idea what they’re talking about when they call.

giphy.gif
Huh?

We signed a contract with Holiday Inn Express for an open room block for 30 rooms.  I’ve called them three times.  My parents have called them.  When Holiday Inn started telling people who called that we were paying for everyone’s room (like a closed block that I certainly can’t afford), my parents physically went by to check what the heck was going on.

Turns out, they somehow had a credit card on file that didn’t belong to my parents nor to The Fiance and me.  Thankfully Mom and Dad were able to clear up that situation before anyone was charged for extra rooms.

giphy.gif
Phew!

And yet, even after all of that, I got contacted again today by The Fiance’s sister to say that when they called the Holiday Inn Express, the hotel had no clue about the room block.

Holiday Inn Express, YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!

BVbv7ZY.gif