Anti Aging Realization


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This morning, while frantically trying to get out the door and get to work on time (just like I am every morning) I had a realization.  All of the money that I’ve spent on anti-aging lotions, all the facial creams I’ve purchased, all the hours of washing and moisturizing and applying and reapplying: IS IT ALL A WASTE?

After the investment of all this time and money, by the time I figure out which of these products works or doesn’t work IT WILL BE TOO LATE.  What if I’m using the wrong anti-aging lotion?  I won’t know until I develop wrinkles.  What if my skin is naturally wrinkle resistant?  I could be spending all this money for no reason.

In fact, I’m convinced that my facial regime is not even the contributing factor to my smooth(ish) skin.  Nope.  The thing that’s keeping my face (relatively) wrinkle free isn’t all those products I’ve been slathering on my face.  It’s the fact that I’m chunky.  That’s right.  Face Fat.

So now, instead of spending money on women like Mary Kay, I’m going to spend my time and money on men like Ben and Jerry.  Wrinkle reducing and delicious.

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Whatever this magic is, I must have it.
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