Name Changing

As we near our negative-one year anniversary, the prospect of changing my name has been coming up more frequently.  Our names are our identifiers, so changing your name is kind of a big deal.  Not to mention I have a very unique last name and have spent the past 29 years playing it up.  Taking The Fiance’s name would mean more than changing my driver’s license.  It would mean changing my email, my license plates, my nicknames.

That being said, I’m not entirely opposed to changing my name, either.  There’s definitely an appeal to the “family unit” and being a little “team” with a “team name.”  I like the thought of being connected to The Fiance and if we ever happen to have kids sharing the same name with them.  I like the traditional aspect of it.

But like I said, I just have a really great last name.  Not to mention, I’ll go from having a unique name in the US (seriously the ONLY one) to being one of 525 people in the US with the same name.  Yes, I checked.

So, to deal with this struggle, I tried to convince The Fiance that instead he would like to take my last name.  His response to that was (the very clever and endearing)

But don’t you want to be the AM to my PM?


How can I say no to that?  Obviously it’s nearly, if not entirely, impossible.

The Fiance wants me to take his last name.  However, he is unwilling to take my last name.  Kind of a double-standard, don’t you think?  Some of my colleagues suggested just smooshing our last names together to create one new (and a little weird) last name.  The Fiance was quick to rule that off the options list.

Anyway, it’s a big decision that I’ve got a year to think over and decide.  I suppose I could always hyphenate, but that doesn’t really solve all the problems, does it?  Decisions; decisions…

Any input?


6 thoughts on “Name Changing

  1. Vicky

    My mom had the same issue as you! Exactly the same! :p She uses her maiden name as her second middle name and took my dad’s name. Maybe that could be an option?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was thrilled to switch last names (because I hated my maiden one) and since we had a mini-me I wanted to keep the name after the divorce to match her. But for me, I LIKED the anonymity of a generic last name. I don’t want people to find me so easy. 😉 That being said, if I marry again I’ll change again.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Esther

    I have some friends who got married and both had hyphenated last names (so he would be P.M-B. and you would be A. M-B). I feel like that’s a pretty good compromise.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I would have semi-jokingly pushed my husband to take my last name, if he weren’t the only one in the country with his. I might have considered changing mine if it didn’t mean subjecting myself to a lifetime of spelling the new one for people (but I end up doing it anyway with mine, for stupid/racist people so…) and an alphabet demotion. And I like the androgyny of my name (even if some people look at me, look at my name in print, and ask if Kelly is my last name), and was too lazy to think about changing legal documents. There’s like a 1% chance we’ll reproduce, but I don’t care that I wouldn’t share a last name with the offspring (being non-traditional is fun, but his is just cooler); married names aren’t universal after all, and people manage just fine.

    I didn’t realize your name was so uncommon! That’s neat. Since I’m currently the only person I know who didn’t do a name change, I vote keep it 🙂 You can always use his informally if you want.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Responses to Name Changing – Confessions of a Sexual Deviant

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