Deviant likes to talk about her nerdy ways. But she doesn’t hold a candle to me. I was into “online dating,” long before it was cool, and even before it had an official name. In fact, when I was dating my online boyfriend, we had to keep our relationship (mostly) secret, because online relationships had only one guaranteed ending: gruesome tragedy involving rape, murder, and dismembered body parts.
When we were in middle school, I played a very nerdy computer game. It’s a computer game so nerdy, in fact, that only a minority of present day nerds have played it. Computer games are their own level of nerdy that is far beyond console games.
Girls rarely played this game, so the fact that I was a girl caught me a LOT of attention on the multiplayer platform. Because I was an extreme tomboy, I had a kick-ass non-girly online handle. Boys wouldn’t know the difference, and so would play to their fullest competitive level against me. After I would stomp the life out of their characters with aggression and enviable skill, most would ask my name and if we could be “friends,” to ensure future match-ups (and revenge). Predictably, whenever I would answer with my Unambiguous Female RL name (that’s “real life”), they would either scoff and never believe that I was truly female (no girls play nerdy computer games, and even if they did there’s no way they could actually be GOOD) or immediately want to get in my (virtual) pants. Because getting in the pants of a super nerdy computer girl with undeniable gamer skillz is every nerdy computer guy’s wet dream.
One lucky guy didn’t immediately get kinky with me. He was friendly, and we formed a formidable alliance in the online world. We had a small group of RL and online friends that we would meet up with on the multiplayer platform, practice against each other, and then team up against other groups. We were awesome, and we pretty much spent all day together crushing souls.
Eventually, he asked me for my aim name. *gasp/swoon* This was definitely getting serious. We shared (very PG) pictures of each other, and we started talking about stuff not just related to the game. We talked about our lives at school, our family relations (not so great in middle school), and favorite candy. Soon, he asked me “out,” and he became…my Online Boyfriend.