One of my best friends is getting married next year, and I have been honored with the duty of Maid of Honor. (Shout out: Today is her birthday!!!) To be honest, I probably suck at this job, but she’s been sweet enough to not say that out loud. At least the few times I’ve actually managed to do my job were big success: finding the perfect wedding dress and booking an awesome photographer.
On one of these occasions, I suggested that we go to The Wedding Expo that was coming to Big City. Even though she had her dress and her venue and everything that goes with the two, we decided it would be fun, so we bought tickets and headed over.
When we walked in, it was completely overwhelming (at least to me). Vendors everywhere, accosting you as you walked by. There was just so much! Dresses, tuxes, makeup, dancing, cake.
Wait… Cake???
So after a large sugar ingestion, things seemed to be a bit more under control. Except that I soon felt like I needed to start looking for my wedding photographer and booking a venue and signing up for dance lessons. Everyone was pressuring me to make sure I had all these things lined up in time.
Just to recap: I AM NOT EVEN GETTING MARRIED.
I don’t know how women handle it. My friend, luckily, was calm and cool and collected since she had most of this stuff under control. I can’t imagine if attending one of these events if I were just starting to wedding plan. I’m not sure I would have come out alive. And I know for a fact that my checkbook definitely wouldn’t.
In short, I’ve decided that if The Beau every actually proposes to me, we’re going to elope.
Confessions of a Sexual Deviant 
A popular trend in Quebec is to have a destination wedding (when people actually bother to get married and not just fall under common law). Book a trip to one of the resorts in the Caribbean: all the food is already paid for, the site can either be the beach or the hotel banquet/reception hall, and you only have to pay for the priest. All your friends will already have their cameras anyways so wedding photos might not be great but you’ll have plenty to choose from.
The other advantage is you don’t have to bother asking people for gifts and the clutter of getting multiple blenders or whatever. You’re already asking them to book their own flight and hotel (at reduced group fares).
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