How Online Dating Changed My Life Part Three: Self Confidence

Untitled 10If being a stuck-up, snobby bitch had been the last of my problems, then I’m sure I could have overcome them all long ago, but no.  Couple them with being insecure, and you wind up with a woman who is essentially undatable.

Once I dated a man who told me via text message that being intimate with me was a burden, that I was physically unattractive, and that I should lose weight.  It took one simple text message to completely destroy 24 years of built up self confidence.  One text message.

That one text message showed me that all of my self confidence was a facade.  I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin because I was suddenly made aware that other people weren’t comfortable with my skin.  I went from being Untitled 11beautiful inside and out to being repulsive everywhere.  Men were disgusted by me.  No man would ever want to be intimate with someone so disgusting (let alone someone waiting until marriage).

After about a week of wallowing in my own self-pity and crying about how gross I was to the rest of the world, I realized that I shouldn’t honestly care what some two-timing jerkface thought of me anyway.  (And boy, was he ever a jerkface!)  Besides, he must not have actually thought I was that repulsive.  Even though he said being intimate with me was a burden, he sure as hell didn’t seem to have any problems with it while it was happening.

So even though I overcame being completely crushed, there was still some insecurities that remained with me.  Untitled 12Unfortunately I didn’t rush immediately to the gym to shed 100 pounds, which probably would have been the healthier (mentally and physically) thing to do.  No.  Instead I just settled with the fact that no man would ever like me for my body.

Online dating showed me that that was completely and totally FALSE.  There were plenty of guys out there who only wanted me for my body.  They didn’t care that I was smart and funny and (generally) a good person.  Nope.  It was all about appearance to them.  I’m not going to lie, it was flattering that there seemed to be an endless supply of men who were interested in the way I look.

The best part was that they weren’t all even creepy ax murder-types who could star in an entire season of Criminal Minds.  They were normal.  And what’s more, they were attractive.

Untitled 14It was shocking at first, especially with society telling me that I’m not attractive, but ultimately, society was wrong.  The exposure, anonymity, openness, and laid-back aspects of online dating showed me that all those insecurities I was facing were wrong.  I truly am beautiful inside and out.

Opening myself up to the virtual world showed me all the people who find me physically attractive.  Chatting, texting, and dating them showed me all the people who find me emotionally attractive.  In short, online dating gave me the self confidence I lacked to be truly comfortable with myself as a woman.


2 thoughts on “How Online Dating Changed My Life Part Three: Self Confidence

  1. datingflops

    Thank you for this post. I went through all the same things as you. Though I had children and am older. It still hurt when some shallow idiot told me I was unattractive. I have attractive men wanting to talk to me and I am comfortable in my own skin. But one man eludes me, the one I want to call my own.


  2. Pingback: How Online Dating Changed My Life Part Four: Summing it Up | Online Dating of a Sexual Deviant

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