When I started online dating, and indeed throughout all my previous dating experiences, I had a “Boyfriend List” to help me find Prince Charming.
It was pretty lengthy and pretty specific. Throughout the years, and the different phases of my dating life, it changed and morphed, but basically kept the same core items. This post is just about the particulars I was looking for in the past. Later, I’ll discuss how online dating helped change my list and myself.
In no particular order, here were the things on my Boyfriend List a year ago:
He has to be Catholic.
I’m Catholic. My parents are Catholic. My sister teaches in a Catholic school. My mother works for the Catholic church. I was an assistant youth minister for high school Catholics. My children will be raised Catholic. He has to be Catholic.
He has to have attained a level of education equal to or higher than I have.
Education is soooooooooooooooo important to me, simply because of the emphasis society places on obtaining an education. I have a masters degree. He should have a masters degree, or more. That way we can relate to similar life experiences.
He has to be employed and have drive to improve his career position.
I don’t want to get involved with some bum. I want to know that he’s doing okay for himself and that he can climb the business ladder and be able to provide for me and a future family. I don’t want someone who is complacent.
He has to wear glasses.
As I previously mentioned, glasses are so cute. So I may be dooming my future children to a life of bad vision, but I love glasses. I like the way they look and the impression they give.
He has to love to travel and be fairly well traveled already.
He has to be well read.
He has to make me laugh.
He has to have hair.
No offense to any guy out there, but I like hair. And by hair, I mean on his head. Body hair isn’t really my thing. But I want a nice, thick head of (preferably) dark hair that I can run my fingers through.
He has to be open-minded.
I grew up in a part of the country where people are stereotypically closed-minded. I’ve lived in parts of the world where people were shockingly closed-minded. I will not put up with being in a relationship with someone who is not interested in keeping an open mind about EVERYTHING.
He has to be respectful.
He has to be respectful to his mother, his father, his siblings, his friends, to me. Respect is so powerful. It’s a huge part of any type of relationship, but especially romantic ones. If he wants me to respect him, then he has to respect me. And if there is no respect, then this relationship is not meant to be.
He has to have been raised by two parents.
I was raised by two loving parents who are celebrating 29 years of marriage this month. I’m afraid I can’t relate to someone who came from a broken family. Divorce is not an option in my future, and I don’t want to be with someone who feels otherwise.
He has to be within 5 years of my age.
I don’t want him to be too old, or too young. I’m more likely to date someone older than me, but I have been known to date a guy a year or two younger than myself. Five years can make a pretty big difference. I don’t even know where my life will be in five years!
He has to want kids.
He has to be musically inclined.
Singing, instruments, dancing. Whatever way, it has to be there. If he can sing while playing an instrument and dancing, then he’s DEFINITELY the guy for me. Unfortunately, Dick van Dyke and his one man band are not within my 5 year age-range.
He has to have great teeth.
A smile says a lot about a person. And someone who has good teeth has a great smile. Good teeth also show that he has good hygiene. If he takes care of cleaning his teeth, then he takes care of cleaning everything.
He has to be well put-together.
Let me just say, online dating completely turned my list on it’s end. I ended up learning a lot about myself through online dating because of this list. It wasn’t just things that I liked about myself, either. Thank goodness for my willingness to be open.