It’s been a little over six months since I stopped meeting guys online. I mean, The Beau and I just celebrated our six month anniversary, and I didn’t start dating him until I’d broken up with all my other admirers. So when I got this text on Wednesday night, I was a bit confused:
At first I didn’t know who this message was from. Part of me was really curious about WHO was messaging me. I felt certain it was The Butt Guy, since I had never saved his number. But it wasn’t; I could tell because this spelling and grammar were far too good to be his.
Then I thought it might have been this odd Korean guy who had been messaging me. His username has been GangnamOppa and he was a little bit weird. (And I’ve dated my fair share of Koreans so I have a general idea of what to expect from Korean men…) But again, the spelling and grammar were not that of a second language learner.
Part of me also felt like I shouldn’t really care because I’m in a happy relationship now. And I am. Really. The Beau is awesome. And we (usually) get each other! I mean, sometimes he worries about me in a mental way, and sometimes I’m still not convinced his whole life isn’t an elaborate facade to prey on unsuspecting sweet young ladies he lures in from the internet (it’s the child of the 00’s internet explosion in me). But really, other than that we’re basically normal. Basically.
Unfortunately, the curious part of me won out. I guess it’s not really a surprise since I looooooooooove bad crime TV and Agatha Christie is my favorite author. I just had to solve the mystery! So I opened up my online account for the first time in months and did some sleuthing.
The answer came as a total surprise: It was the guy with the hairless cat! Ultimately he ended up being a nice guy, I just couldn’t get over the cat. Besides, The Beau is nicer, cuter, funnier, doesn’t have a hairless cat, and isn’t balding. (Don’t worry, there’s more reasons why I’m dating him but that’s not what this post is about.)
Anyway, I politely told Hairless Cat Guy that I was in a relationship. I was immensely surprised when he kept it classy and said he wasn’t going to pursue that “awkward friendship” thing with me. I mean, there’s enough awkwardness in my life already! No need for this guy to bring in some more, right?