To me, adult sleep overs are no where near as fun as child-hood sleep overs. You know, back in the day you could wear your comfiest, if not cutest, pj’s. You’d braid hair, do makeovers, play dress up, build forts, and bad-mouth boys. You never had to worry about anything when it was just you and your gals.But as an adult, there’s sooooooo much more to worry about. Gone are the comfy pj’s and the hair curlers. Forget putting on your face mask before bed. No way. Heaven forbid you scare the man away!
When you have an adult sleep over, you have to do everything in your power to make sure you come across as beautiful and perfect at all times. Or at least that’s what the media tells us. And let me just say, it’s exhausting slipping out of bed a few minutes early so you can put on some lip gloss, mascara, a dab of perfume, and then artfully arrange yourself so you look like the most graceful sleeper.
Unfortunately, I am not like this. I’m not naturally a graceful sleeper and I’m not willing to give up those 2 extra minutes of sleep to make myself look like I am. I am, however, one of those women who worries. About everything. So when it comes time in a relationship for adult sleep-overs, here are some of the thoughts that run through my head:
- What do I wear to bed? Do I opt for the tattered old sweatpants from college or go with my giant “Cowgirl up!” night shirt? Wait, when was the last time I shaved my legs? Just as I thought… Going with the sweats.
- What am I going to do about my snoring??? What if he can’t sleep because I’m snoring too much? Ohmigosh! What if I fart in my sleep too?? Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
- When was the last time I washed my sheets???? Where can I hide all these stuffed animals? Under the bed! Wait, no. That’s where I’ve hidden the mess I didn’t want to clean up. I hope he doesn’t look under the bed…
- What if he gets frisky? No, wait. I’m hairy and wearing ratty sweatpants. He won’t want to get frisky. Maybe I should put on my green face mask just to make extra sure he doesn’t want to get frisky.
- Shoot! I need to wear a bra to bed tonight!
- What if he snores? Or is a blanket hog? Or drools? Will he notice that I drool?
- What if I have to poop?????