D’awww Round 3

Back before The Beau and I started dating, I was seeing this guy who I thought was super sweet (D’awww). Then he turned out to be kind of a Punk (D’awww shit). If you recall, I never heard from him again, and still haven’t up to this point. (I’m not upset about that at all. The Beau basically makes all other men look slightly neanderthal.)

However, The Punk did make a reappearance in my life, even though I haven’t heard from him directly.

One of my coworkers, we’ll call her Professor Cunning Linguist (because she’s an English professor and because of Weird Al’s song Word Crimes) reactivated her online dating account after I repeatedly came into work every day with a new story about some other guy I’d been out with.

I mean, this is what students are like for Professor C. Linguist. — This is what Professor C Linguist’s classes are like.

Professor Linguist is a super cool lady with lots of unique interests. I swear, I have excellent taste in friends, because all of mine are so freaking awesome. Anyway, Professor Linguist revamped her profile with a nice hook and some interesting facts about herself. If I were into ladies, I would have messaged her to go out for a craft beer.

So, imagine my surprise when one night The Beau and I were sitting on the couch watching some mindless bad crime TV shows (guilty pleasure!) when I get a text from Professor Linguist asking me what the name of The Punk was. Before I could even respond, she told me what his name was, where he lived, his job, what he looked like and said that he had messaged her! Small world!

Now, if you recall (or re-read) things ended between The Punk and I because he wasn’t interested in a relationship. Professor C. Linguist had listed on her profile that she was ONLY interested in a relationship, so either this guy 1) didn’t read her whole profile (as many don’t); 2) lied to me about not wanting a relationship (maybe he just didn’t want one with me); or 3) read her profile but didn’t care (men!).

So Professor Cunning Linguist politely mentioned that she is friends with me, and then sent The Punk off on his merry way to find his perfect non-relationship and neither of us have heard from him again.