Recently The Beau and I went out with some couple friends. (It was super exciting for me, because it was my first time going out on group dates without being the odd man out! Success!)
It’s interesting to see the different roles that couples fill in social settings. After observing the couples we went out with, (and with some help from my bestie) I’ve come up with some personas that couples generally tend to fall under:
The Darling Duo aka the cute couple
Those two people who are always finishing each other’s sentences. They stare longingly into each other’s eyes. They’re always thinking of the other and showing so by acting selflessly. Physically they match, with complimentary coloring and styles. They never fight in public and basically ooze affection. You always want to invite them to dinner parties to encourage all other couples to maintain good behavior.
The Witty Weds aka the funny couple
These two are basically the class clowns of social outings. Their goal is to make everyone laugh and consider the night a success based on the number of groans they get from their bad jokes. They lighten the mood, but sometimes don’t know how to use discretion. These are the ones you want to invite over for a relaxing night, but be warned if you invite them to a gathering where you’re trying to impress your boss.
The Library Lovers aka the smart couple
Glasses, tweed, mismatched, and a bit disheveled. This couple tends to be absent minded because their overly large and active brains are usually somewhere else. Occasionally their conversations go over everyone’s head, but you always learn something when you’re with them. Invite them over when you’re thirsting knowledge, just don’t ask them to bring anything.
The Posh Pair aka the cosmopolitan couple
This pair is well educated, well traveled, well dressed, well fed, well polished. Basically, they’re well everything. They like to drink expensive drinks, be it wine or beer or liquor. They drive expensive cars and hob nob with the most elite. This is the couple you invite over if you want to impress your boss (and they’ll bring the best wine!), but book them in advance because they’re liable to be at an art gallery opening.
The Crunchy Couple aka the sporty couple
Crunchy, like granola. They’re health nuts. They camp. They hike. They ride bikes. They EXERCISE for fun! They have matching running shoes and enter marathons together. Couple crossfit! Don’t invite them over for formal gatherings because they don’t own clothing other than UnderArmor, but always pick them for your ultimate frisbee team!
The Tedious Twosome aka the boring couple
Unfortunately, there’s not much to say about this couple. They’re bland. They don’t offer much in the way of entertaining conversation, but they’ll fill a seat at a table when needed.
The Sexual Sweethearts aka the overly affectionate couple
You know those two who can’t keep their hands off each other? They’re practically going at it at the dinner table. They’re consumed by lust and don’t do much to hide it. They tend to forget that other people are around. Not a good idea to invite them over when minors are present, or if you don’t feel like vomiting at the table, but they might inspire a few “creative ideas” for later that night….
The Militant Mates aka the fighting couple
These two seem to be constantly at odds. Why they’re still a couple, we’ll never know. They bicker about everything from what to eat at dinner to what to name their kids. They make all the other couples look like fairytale relationships. Invite them over when there aren’t any good soaps on TV because they’ll bring drama straight to your dining room. Dinner and a show.
The Kwerkie Kouple aka the quirky couple
These two are just slightly… off. Maybe a bit nerdy, a bit socially awkward, a bit goofy, but overall they’re fun. They can be slightly ridiculous but entertaining. You might notice them high fiving for no apparent reason. They communicate through the use of inside jokes, which might make them seem anti-social or standoffish at times. Dinner parties with this couple are pretty hit or miss: It’ll either be hilarious or painfully awkward. The risk is yours to take.
The Beau and I are definitely a Kwerkie Kouple. We can be both entertaining and awkward. It’s still a bit surprising to me that I’m not part of a Witty Wed, but I think I’m just a wee bit too awkward for it.
So, what are you and your significant other? Do you need to reevaluate your couple persona???