Cover


For some reason, there is still a lot of negative stigmas to online dating. Even in the past, I claimed it was never going to be something that I would do.  Now look at me… an online dating pro!

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Online dating LIKE A BOSS!
I’ve written before about some of the stats of online dating (catch a few here).  But for a quick rundown, there are a little over 54 MILLION single people in the US (that’s a lot of Christmas parties).  And OVER 41 MILLION people have tried online dating.

Yeah.  41 million:

  • The number of uninsured Americans.
  • The number of American workers who don’t get enough sleep.
  • The number of people traveling this past Thanksgiving.
  • The number of people trying online dating.
  • In other words, that’s a lot of people.

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So why is there still enough negativity that people feel compelled to come up with “A Cover”?  Beats me.  When I sat down and thought about it, on a good day, I spend 16 hours awake (give or take an hour.  I really need 8 hours of sleep.)  Of those 16 hours awake, I spend a minimum of 8 hours at work (except yesterday I spent 12 hours.  Love my job!)  I’m on my computer all the time at work.  In the remaining hours that I’m home, I spend even more time on my computer or phone (not a lot because I get sick of looking at the screens all day at work.)  But the point is, I spend so much time online, it only makes sense that I do my dating there, too.

And yet, some people still don’t find this acceptable.  So we feel the need to come up with “A Cover.”

*****

“What if we tell people we met in a café?”

“We wouldn’t both be in the same café.  Why would either of us go to a café 20 miles away from where we live and work?”

“Maybe we could have met in the mall?”

“Oh, so you frequently pick up women while you’re Christmas present shopping???  I’ll keep that in mind….”

“Did I say that?  No.  Okay.  What about grocery shopping?”

“You hate grocery shopping.”

“Oh yeah.  Well, I like it with you.”

“Or we could tell people that I found you wandering the cold dark streets alone, with no food and no warm place to go home to so I offered to buy you a warm meal and things happened from there.”

“You want to tell people I’m homeless?”

“No… I want to tell people that I’m a kind and giving human being.”

“Why don’t we say that I saved you from being hit by a runaway dumpster as it came careening down the street toward you while your heel was stuck in a sewer drain?  Then I nursed you back to health and charmed you with my dazzling blue eyes and tender, caring nature.”

“Isn’t that The Wedding Planner?”

“Ummmmm…. I don’t know… Is it?”

“Why do you even know the plot to that movie?”

“Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……….  I don’t?”

“Uh huh.  We could just tell people that you are an amateur, though talented, computer hacker and I was tasked with the job of bringing you in to the FBI.  Along the way we encountered all sorts of bad guys and I single-handedly threw a car at a helicopter before we fell madly in love.”

“Soooooo, no to The Wedding Planner, but yes to Die Hard?”

“Absolutely.  Why is that even a question?  I mean, I like The Wedding Planner, as any tween from the early 00’s would, but Bruce Willis is so much more badass.”

“Okay.  Well how about we tell people –”

“– That we met online?  Okay.”

Just stick with the truth.
Just stick with the truth.

 

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