So, previously I wrote about this guy who was sweet as a peach. If you don’t remember, you can refresh your memory here: D’awww. I thought I should follow up on what transpired with this adorable guy.
Don’t forget he was just perfect the first three dates: reservations, nervous pop kiss, flowers, wine, and chocolate. This guy could have given Casanova courting lessons, he was that good. And he continued to be that good. I know, it doesn’t seem possible. But he was! He continued to drive to me for every date, and then played chauffeur. He would never let me pay, even when I insisted. He even brought dessert home for my roommate! He would send me cutesy text messages about how he missed me and couldn’t wait to see me again. He was always excited to plan our next date out.
We dated for about a month, seeing each other once or twice a week. I thought I really liked him, but what woman wouldn’t like a man who treated her like a princess like this guy did? I mean, really, he was a doll. I had a few hesitations, but I told myself that I liked him. Probably I really just liked the attention because I kept dating other men. If I had really liked him, I might not have continued seeing these other guys (remember, it’s never a relationship until both people mutually agree it is).
Then, one evening we went out for a Korean BBQ dinner. I love Korean food. LOVE it. But when he drove me home to drop me off and was like “We need to talk,” I definitely regretted that second helping of kimchi that I ate. “We need to talk” in relationship-speak directly translates to “You’re inadequate.” All I could think of was “Good grief, why did I make such a pig of myself at dinner??”
Basically he told me that we weren’t moving toward a relationship and that he was worried I was thinking we were. To be honest, I thought we might eventually be moving that way, based upon HIS actions. Any of my actions that could be described as “couple-like” were done in response to HIS “couple-like” actions. I didn’t really know what to do or say because I was pretty confused.
Who brings home dessert for a girl-you-don’t-want-to-date’s roommate? Why would you bring a girl flowers if you just wanted a physical relationship? At least I pigged out on that bulgogi at dinner, because it was freakin delicious and I didn’t miss out on a great dinner…
With all these thoughts jumbling around in my brain, I may have blurted out that I was dating four other men, and wasn’t really looking at this to move toward a relationship. (Perhaps a slight lie. About the moving toward the relationship, not the men. I was actually seeing 4 other guys at that point.) He was surprised I was dating so many men (please, don’t be surprised that lots of men want this… I’m a catch, fool!). He told me that I had been making him feel uncomfortable because I was acting like we were in a relationship. I apologized for making him feel uncomfortable (why I did, I’m not really sure. HE was the one who initiated the relationship-type activities!). I got out of the car, steadily growing angrier because somehow I let him make ME feel like I was in the wrong (I never bought HIM flowers…) and stalked into my apartment to tell my roommate about what a jerkface he’d been.
He had been the one to initiate the courtship-type actions. Why was I the one being blamed for giving the impression of a relationship? If he just wanted to play the field and sleep around, then first off, he shouldn’t have been dating me, and second off, don’t try to impress me with flowers and chocolates and dessert for my roommate! Ugh… men! I didn’t really feel sad, I just felt annoyed that I was being blamed when he was equally in the wrong. I guess that he just didn’t really know how to play the field after all.
We agreed we would still hang out (more free dinners!) but I never did hear from him again, which is totally fine with me!