The worst!

The other day, I went on the WORST date I’ve had yet (and I’ve had some fairly awkward ones). This was a second date, so I thought I already had a pretty good idea of what to expect, but this date just met all the characteristics of the stereotypical “bad date.”

I agreed to a second date with this guy under my idea that you can’t really get to know someone very well in just a couple hours.  I think you need a second date to really get a feeling.  However, I was already pretty skeptical.  On his profile, he claimed to be 5’7″.  In reality, I would say he was probably closer to 5’4.5″.  I mean, I’m about 5’3″ on a good day, and we were pretty comparable in height.  On top of which, he was that awkward kind of short with short arms and tiny hands.  I have giant man hands that I’m overly self-conscious about, so I definitely noticed his tiny animal-like paws.  Yikes.

Anyway, for the second date we were going to go to the movies.  He wanted to see Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.  Gross.  Not a date movie.  Not my type of movie, either.  Thankfully it wasn’t playing, so we decided we would see A Most Wanted Man at 4:30.  It was his day off, and I worked until 4, so it was the perfect time.

I booked it straight to the movie theater from work, so I looked pretty darn spiffy in my business attire.  I got to the theater at 4:25 and he was no where to be seen.  Right at 4:30 he calls me to tell me that he’s stuck in traffic because he had to bring his brother to work.  Not a big deal, there were some other movies starting at 4:45.

He didn’t show up until 5:02.  Not only was I waiting for over 30 minutes, but I ran into an acquaintance of mine, and she got to see how long I was waiting around for a guy.  It probably screamed “THIS WOMAN IS DESPERATE FOR A DATE!!”

When he DID finally show up, he was wearing sweat shorts and a t-shirt.  I was wearing a dress and blazer.  I get that it was his day off, but sweat shorts?  On a date?  Yeah, no.

He came running up, apologizing profusely (I guess sweat shorts are good for running).  You know, I get it.  Sometimes things just come up, so I was fine with it.  But then he told me that getting stuck in traffic wasn’t the worst of it, and that he had FORGOTTEN HIS WALLET AT HOME.  He was so terribly flustered and upset, that I thought he was going to have a melt down.  I, on the other hand, was really calm and laid back.  I told him it was no big deal.  He said we could run to his place and get it, that he didn’t live too far from the area.  I agreed and we went to his car.

What I didn’t really think about was traffic.  So there we were, sitting in traffic together.  He tried to take a short cut and made the wrong turn, which made him get even more flustered.  I was still totally mellow and understanding.  I did my best to keep the conversation going (which usually isn’t that difficult for me).  Sometimes you just have a bad day.

After we finally got back to the movie theater with his wallet, it was after 6.  By this point I wasn’t up to sitting in a movie theater, feigning interest in something, since I’d just spent the past hour feigning interest in him.  I suggested skipping a movie and just getting dinner.  I seemed to gulp down my food, but he ate incredibly slowly and talked non-stop.

FINALLY he finished and asked if I wanted to walk around and check out the shops.  I consented and surreptitiously steered him in the direction of my car.  After about 5 minutes, I said I was getting tired and since we were close to my car, I was going to head home.  He thanked me profusely for being so understanding and walked me toward the parking garage.  As we were nearing the structure, I heard someone calling my name.  When I turned to see who it was, one of my students was half hanging out of the car he was driving, waving frantically at me, and nearly causing a 6 car pile up.

I got back to my car and banged my head repeatedly against the steering wheel.  No joke.  I guess it wasn’t really that terrible, but combined with his small animal paw hands, it was enough to make me not interested.  I’m sure it could have been worse, but I’m glad that it wasn’t.  I don’t know if it was worse for me or for him, honestly.  That being said, there definitely won’t be a third date (mostly because of his tiny hands and sweat shorts).


5 thoughts on “The worst!

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