A little friendly advice


A lot of my friends have tried online dating in the past. Some of them have had lasting relationships, others haven’t had the same luck. Though, that’s kind of how relationships work in the real world AND the virtual world, right? Heck, in your whole life, you’ll only have ONE romantic relationship that really lasts, won’t you?  At least, if you’re lucky, that is…..

Anyway, when my friends finally managed to convince me to sign up for on online dating site, this is some of the advice they gave me.

*****

From my awesome rocker chick friend in Philly who met her long-term boyfriend online:
1. There are some super pervy dudes out there that make you come close to wishing you were gay.
(I’m doing this to prove to my father that I’m NOT gay, so I really hope this experience doesn’t make me so.)
2. Guys will send you dick pics as a way of saying hello.
(Ew ew ew ew ewwww!  That’s just awkward….)
3. You’ll get one almost nice message every 20 messages and of those almost nice messages, one in ten of those are from guys who are worth your time.
(So basic math tells me that I have a .5% chance of actually liking the men who message me… promising.)
4. Guys read like two lines of your profile and will quote those lines to make it seem like they’ve actually read it.  Avoid these guys!
(And I thought they were really reading my profile!)
5. If you stick with is and approach it with a good sense of humor, you’ll eventually find that one good guy on there. After all, there’s where I met my love (and a bunch of other assholes, but that’s not the point!)
(Oh boy…..  This seems promising.)

*****

From my roommate who has tried online dating off and on in the past:
There are three things that I generally follow when online dating.
Firstly, always leave yourself an out on the first date. Schedule them in before you have other plans. If you’re having a good time and connecting, then you can always have a second date. But if it’s terrible, at least you have a reason to leave.
Secondly, you should have a list of things you want to do. Like a bucket list. Then use your dates shamelessly to check things off. If you’ve always wanted to try that fancy restaurant, go there on a date. That way, if the date sucks, at least you’ll have done something you’ve always wanted to do.
Finally, always remember that the worst dates make the best stories.

*****

From my best friend whom I’ve gone to for dating advice for the past 20 years:
Online dating is like shopping, but less fun.  You spend all this time and effort, and afterwards, you don’t even have a new pair of shoes to show for it.  Don’t invest too much of yourself into it.  It’s not a relationship until you’ve met and chosen together for it to go that way.  Oh, and always bring a book with you.  That way if you get stood up, you don’t look awkward sitting in a coffee shop without something to read.

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One thought on “A little friendly advice

  1. Pingback: Be Open | Online Dating of a Sexual Deviant

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