Okay, I know it’s not just me who thinks this, because there is an entire buzzfeed article about it, but Vladimir Putin looks like a hairless cat. And hairless cats look creepy. (I know, the joke’s on me. Since I’m allergic to cats the only kind I can own are the hairless ones. I’m just saying, if I ever do start having hairless cats, they’re all going to have Russian names like Vladimir and Iosif. Creepy Russian names for creepy hairless cats.)
So isn’t it just my luck that I’m chatting to this guy, who seems nice-ish when he suddenly changes his profile picture to one of him with a hairless cat perched on his shoulder. Yikes!!
It isn’t enough to just HAVE a hairless cat, no. It has to be a shoulder-perching hairless cat. This is clearly an obsessive relationship this man has with his cat. We’re talking Douglas Powers-Mr. Bigglesworth type hairless cat relationship.
And it’s just there…. Staring me down every time I open the chat window. It’s eyes are following me. I’m stuck with this feeling of being watched by Vladimir Putin embodied in this hairless cat. And for some reason, I CAN’T LOOK AWAY.
The more I stare it at, the more I only see the hairless cat in the picture. Until suddenly the picture is only of this cat, which slowly morphs into Vladimir Putin and now I’m partaking in an online chat with Vladimir Putin AND HE’S ASKING FOR MY PHONE NUMBER.
Oh my God! Vladimir Putin just asked me for my number.
No wait. That’s not Vladimir Putin. It’s just a hairless cat. And I’m not talking to a hairless cat because that would be weird. I’m talking to a man who owns a hairless cat, which is undoubtedly still weird. Gosh, just give the poor animal a sweater or something! It’s so naked!
Wait, I’m going off topic again. Focus! A man just asked for my number. Hey! A man just asked for my number!! I can’t remember the last time a man asked for my number. This is so great!
Except that he owns a hairless cat. And hairless cats are just weird. I think I’m going to close this chat window indefinitely………